My Disability Matters Club

Depression but climbing out

“This life was given to you because you’re strong

enough to live it.”

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It’s Saturday morning. Yesterday morning I spent at the doctor. First blood tests. Had blood drawn. Up to my Internal Medicine office. Injection of something that works like adrenaline. Another blood draw in half an hour. A third one in another half an hour Yay! Found out at 4:30! Addison’s disease is ruled out. A big relief! My cortisol level is normal and stable. Not low any longer. I thank God!

I’m getting ahead of myself, but when you’re climbing out of a depression, grab all the joy you can! I met with my psychiatrist of 12 years after the blood draws. We didn’t discuss the depression much. He focused on my terrible sleep. Perhaps that is the core problem. He prescribed a new med. I’m going to try it, even though I have not had any luck with sleeping aids over the years.

Saturday morning. The new med proved to be no exception. Not only did it not work right, but I had an adverse reaction to it. My face went numb. Fifteen minutes after taking it, my breathing was depressed, my face, chest and toes became numb. However, two Benadryl helped and two more four hours later did the trick. I did sleep in between. This morning I am rested. The bad reactions have dissipated. I still feel emotionally numb, but I have a sense that I am climbing out of the pit of this depression. Today my hope is restored.

The fog is lifting. Somehow, thanks no doubt to the prayers of so many friends, God fashioned a key out of the cage of the pervasive sadness that had characterized my days and made my nights interminable. I am very thankful.

“Sadness may last for a night, but joy comes in morning.” Psalm 30: 5b

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